Unclean & Unseen! – HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980)

When there’s no more room in hell, the rip-offs will walk the earth.

Also known as: Night of the Zombies, Virus, Cannibal Virus, Zombies A-Poppin’, Zombie 2, Zombie Inferno, Zombie Disco Inferno: Electric Boogaloo, Zombie Creeping Flesh, Undead Combo Meal with Large Fries, Zombies of the Savanna, The Artists Formerly Known as Zombies, and many, many others.

As adults, we pride ourselves on wisdom. Getting through the highs and lows of life gives us insight we can use to offer needed advice to our loved ones and make intelligent decisions. Then, there are decisions like HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD, which we just know are going to be bad for us. That cigarette. That skanky one-night stand in Vegas. Those two packages of Girl Scout cookies that are just sitting there, taunting us. But we can’t resist. 

I originally intended to see this shit carnival one night on cable in 1984 under its US-branded moniker, UNENDING NIGHT OF THE DEADLY FLESH NIBBLERS, but my mum came to her senses and sent me to bed. (Had it not been a school night, I bet I could have pulled it off.) It took me another decade to finally catch it on video, and boy howdy, was it worth the wait. 

The movie almost seems like it was made by actual zombies. Its genius-by-accident mix of inexplicable nudity, bad dialogue, and non-stop, dollar-store gore inadvertently becomes the very definition of ‘guilty pleasure’. From the ripped off Goblin soundtrack to director Bruno Mattei being billed as “Vincent Dawn”, the producers of HELLISH DAY OF THE DISGRUNTLED WHATEVERS use every trick in the book to convince us this maybe, just possibly, could be the work of George A. Romero. 

Needless to say, it’s a total failure, but once you feast your eyes on BURNING HOPPING ZOMBIES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, you have to admit that these folks packed a lot of irresistible nonsense into 100 minutes of running time. In all honesty, I’ve probably seen this film at least six times, and I still don’t know what happens in it or what the point is! (Off the record: booze and drugs will help, so be sure to have a lot nearby before you press play.)

Just like that greasy chili burger you have after four oyster shooters, watching DAWNING SCREAMING ZOMBIES ON SAFARI is not going to be one of the best choices you’ll make in this lifetime. But sometimes, you just have to do it. 

#unclean&unseen #hellofthelivingdead #nightofthezombies #vincentdawn #brunomattei #georgeromero #zombies