Anyone remember prism stickers? I had a neighborhood discount store with a vending machine full of these in the late 1980s. I must have dumped a small fortune into that thing in a quest to get my favorite horror films. In the following years, I unwisely gave away or even threw away a few I didn’t care for. Ah, the folly of youth — D’OH!

Though they vary in artistic quality, the ones I still have are in primo condition, and from time to time I’ll be posting one here on UBHB.

First up is a grrrreat one of John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE (1988).

#fearflashbacks #prismstickers #theylive #johncarpenter

An ideal primer for your introduction to short horror fiction.  

It makes sense to debut this section with the first Stephen King book I purchased. It was late 1984 and Christmas shopping was in full swing at the Richland Mall in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. At ten years old, I was too old to go piss on Santa’s lap but too young to have any money for seasonal sales at the local K-Mart. Instead, I was happiest to hang around the arcades, movie theaters, and book shops where the cheapest thrills abounded. 

I had, unfortunately, missed the theatrical run of CHILDREN OF THE CORN earlier that year, but was intrigued when I saw its awesome poster artwork fronting the newest printing of Stephen King’s NIGHT SHIFT. As a fledgling horror vulture, I had previously noticed the book’s famous “gauze hand” cover haunting store shelves. Wanting to know what the big deal was about this King guy, I opted to take a chance, plunking down my $3.95 for him and the fine folks at Waldenbooks to divvy up.

It ended up being one of the smartest purchases I made in my youth. 

NIGHT SHIFT is a mad conglomeration of King’s earliest stories, penned for such publications as Cavalier, Penthouse, and Cosmopolitan between 1968 and 1977. The tone of the book changes wildly from time to time–if its stories were instead a compilation of rock ‘n’ roll songs, it would make a killer K-Tel album. (“It’s the original hits by the original artists–take a listen!”) Encompassing the stark terror of the horror genre, the fantastic and grim leanings of science fiction, and even the lugubrious regret found in some of the best dramatic works, NIGHT SHIFT plunders each shade of grey as its players search for an exit from the narrowing, twisting corners of the mind. 

I am hard pressed to think of another short story collection that gave birth to so many film, television, and even podcast adaptations. Two stories here, “The Ledge” and “Quitters, Inc.”, later formed the backbone of CAT’S EYE (1986), while a number of other studio releases alike took a shot at stories such as “Graveyard Shift”, “The Mangler”, and “The Boogeyman”. “Children of the Corn” is much nastier stuff here; Peter Horton and Linda Hamilton should be grateful for getting off light. Even King’s own directorial debut, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986), was expanded from “Trucks”, in which the world surrenders to a rise of machines over mankind.

All this unsavoryness–men turning into jelly, murderous gardeners, extraterrestrial body horror, and much, much more–is a perfect scratch for your horror itch. The nutty and grotesque creative approach grabs your attention, but it’s thankfully disciplined enough to sustain each entry without wearing out its welcome. As a result, NIGHT SHIFT still ranks at the very top of my favorite King releases. 

When all’s bled and done, it’s a curiously heartfelt story that proves the collection’s true versatility. “The Last Rung on the Ladder” downshifts just long enough to offer a devastating recount of an ambitious lawyer who has become too busy to come to the aid of his little sister, who has spent most of her adult life in a downward spiral of bad life decisions. For once, King goes for the heart instead of trying to tear it out of your chest. It pays off in a very sad but strong character study that showcases what ultimately has become the author’s greatest strength–exposing the darkness that lies inside every Jane and John Q. Public. I also found it fascinating that “The Rung on the Ladder” is one of the only stories in NIGHT SHIFT to never be translated to some form of media. Maybe someday, I’ll be the one to do it. 

#boundhorror #stephenking #shortstories #childrenofthecorn #thelastrungontheladder #theledge #quittersinc #maximumoverdrive #catseye #waldenbooks #cavalier #penthouse #cosmopolitan #johnstown #pennsylvania

So much going on in the world of horror lately! In addition to eagerly-anticipated offerings such as MAXXXINE, LONGLEGS, ALIEN: ROMULUS, and TERRIFIER 3, we can now throw Robert Eggers’ reworking of NOSFERATU onto the upcoming horror heap!

Like many modern horror directors, Eggers is hit and miss for me, but this looks like it has a lot of promise. Bill Skarsgard headlines as the creepy, obsessed Count Orlok. Lily-Rose Depp and Willem Dafoe (the star of Eggers’ previous genre offering, THE LIGHTHOUSE) pull co-star duties in this lush reboot of the 1922 classic.

‘Tis the season for a gothic good time when NOSFERATU opens December 25th. Catch the first teaser trailer here.

#horrorhappenings #nosferatu #roberteggers #billskarsgard #willemdafoe #lilyrosedepp #teasertrailer

Though its script could have used one more draft, and it’s aching for a sequel we never got, “Tucker and Dale vs. Evil” still stands as the most charming horror-comedy of its time.

For the young ones just joining us, “Occupy Wall Street” was a short-lived social movement that swept the US during the fall of 2011. It decried corporate avarice, economic inequality, the evils of monopolies, and, in particular, the CEOs who hold dear all these transgressions. Hey, I couldn’t really disagree with this new crop of social justice warriors, as most of their points were well-intentioned and insightful.

Just don’t stand between me and the movie I’ve waited all year to see. 

The scene was downtown Bellingham, Washington, a tree-huggin’, left-leanin’ college town a hour or two north of Seattle. Chanting demonstrators bounced off the bumper of my pickup truck as I carved my way through the crowd. After finally securing a parking spot and getting inside the theater, I found myself all alone–it turns out I was literally the first person in town to check out Eli Craig’s feature debut, TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL.

And all those protestor handprints and bloodstains on my fenders were worth it. 

Tucker and Dale are a couple of simple, fun-loving West Virginia hicks looking to spend some time sprucing up their dilapidated cabin. Just think of them as Beavis and Butt-Head in bib overalls, only with fishing tackle in tow and sporting 20 more IQ points, give or take. When some college kids roll into their neck of the woods to party, things start to go south real quick. Before you can say ‘mistaken identity’, poor Tucker and Dale find themselves hip-waders deep in problems as the collegiates begin to bite the dust in a string of hilariously gory FINAL DESTINATION-style mishaps. 

Whether it’s Tucker trying to mastermind a way out of their mess, or the adorable-but-self-conscious Dale trying to hit on a hottie without scaring the piss out of her, TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL puts a fresh spin on that familiar sitcom schtick of people reacting to one half of a story without bothering to hear the second half. With help from the likable Katrina Bowden as Dale’s prospective girlfriend/hostage victim, the film is a powder keg of laughs fueled by some admirable interplay between Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine as the titular duo who just can’t stay out of trouble.

Without further ado, grab yourself a Pabst Blue Ribbon and ride along with what might be the most charming horror-comedy you’ll ever see. In the end, Tucker is certainly correct in his assessment: It’s a doozy of a day!

#letsallgotothelobbytogetourselvessomemeat #tuckeranddalevsevil #elicraig #alantudyk #tylerlabine #katrinabowden #horrorcomedies #occupywallstreet #finaldestination #beavisandbutthead #pabstblueribbon #westvirginia #bellingham #washington

Forty years of playing a crispy dream demon pays off, folks.

The fine folks at Fango reported yesterday that Robert Englund, the original Freddy Krueger himself, will soon be getting a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. Englund has been a genre touchstone for nearly 50 years, with early roles in Tobe Hooper’s EATEN ALIVE (1976), GALAXY OF TERROR (1981), and the NBC miniseries “V” (1983) before becoming everyone’s favorite sleep stalker in Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984).

Joining Englund in the class of 2025 will be the one and only horror director, John Carpenter. Between HALLOWEEN, THE THING, THE FOG, and countless other contributions to the genre over the past half century, Carpenter remains one of the most emulated, reviled, celebrated, and confounding characters on the horror circuit. It’s good to see him finally get some of the recognition he’s deserved for so many years.

Congrats, guys. You’ve earned it!

Check out Fangoria’s original story here.

#horrorhappenings #robertenglund #johncarpenter #eatenalive #galaxyofterror #v #anightmareonelmstreet #halloween #thething #thefog #hollywoodwalkoffame

Just a short ‘n’ sleazy pit stop to highlight horror posters, new and old.

Gettin’ a-head from Herbert West. Where was this guy when we needed him during the COVID-19 pandemic?

From Fangoria Poster Magazine #1 (1987)

#onesheetwonders #reanimator #herbertwest #jeffreycombs #fangoria

Quite simply, the pinnacle of syndicated scares in the 1980s.

We’re kicking off this new television-based segment right. I’ve been looking forward to writing this entry for days now, simply because it’s my choice for the best episode from my favorite show of all time, TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE.

After George A. Romero had a minor mainstream hit with CREEPSHOW in late 1982, the idea of adapting it for television suddenly became quite a lucrative possibility. Upon a slight retooling of the concept, a pilot aired in 1983 before the series was picked up by LBS Communications for syndication the following autumn. It stuck with the familiar anthology style of many genre series before it, most notably Rod Serling’s two network success stories, THE TWILIGHT ZONE and NIGHT GALLERY. 

The series was filmed on the cheap by a non-union crew at alternating makeshift soundstages–one in an abandoned mattress factory in East L.A. and the other 3,000 miles away in Long Island City, which had formerly served as a rehearsal haunt for Pink Floyd. Leveraging this rather unorthodox method, the po’ ass producers could stretch their paltry, $124,000-per-episode budget by prepping one facility while filming at the other. 

TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE achieved a handful of classic episodes in its first two seasons to include “Distant Signals”, in which an intergalactic audience demands the continuation of a long-canceled television show, as well as “Inside the Closet”, the monstrously auspicious directorial debut of FX guru Tom Savini. For my money, though, the pinnacle of the series happened right before Halloween, 1986. 

Little Audrey is gifted a dollhouse by her friendly Uncle Richard. Audrey’s parents, Sam and Edith, are at first too busy trading their usual feckless mix of pleasantries and insults to notice that there’s something…really weird about the dolls, which Audrey has dubbed “The Geezenstacks” and that quaintly resemble each of the story’s four main players. 

Enchanted by her offbeat new gift, Audrey’s imagination is quick to whip up tons of new adventures for her dolls. Mrs. Geezenstack indulges in the purchase of a new coat…and then Edith comes home moments later with the exact same thing. When Mr. Geezenstack comes down with a cold, Sam is soon laid up in bed and stuffed full of chicken soup. What is dismissed as pure coincidence by Edith and Richard becomes Sam’s very unhealthy obsession. Where did the dolls come from? Why do they resemble his family? And, most importantly, what will happen to them next? 

“The Geezenstacks” is one of the premier examples of TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE thriving in the shadows of its low budget. Director Bill Travis’s spare lighting and odd, inspired blocking help make the episode’s string-based score all the more sinister and atmospheric. Bonus points go to star Craig Wasson, who would soon go on to tangle with Freddy Krueger in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS. Here, he admirably walks the crooked line between goofy and tortured as a father slowly losing his marbles to playthings that seem all at once evil and harmless.  

Ultimately, one of the best things about the episode is something you can’t fully appreciate until you read its source material, a 1943 short story of the same name by Fredric Brown. Whereas Brown opted to give his readers a chaotic, somewhat confusing shock ending, the adapted teleplay by Nancy Doyne layers on a positively chilling and well-rounded conclusion that insinuates the dollhouse’s story is far from over. 

With their porcelain skin, mute smiles, and jet-black eyes that just might be able to see the future, “The Geezenstacks” will give fans of old-school horror and fantasy some of the biggest goosebumps they’ll have all year. 

#smallscreenscreams #talesfromthedarkside #thegeezenstacks #fredricbrown #nancydoyne #craigwasson #georgeromero #tomsavini #pinkfloyd #creepshow #lbscommunications #rodserling #twilightzone #nightgallery

This summer marks 40 years of Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. But, as Marge Simpson once said, “Of course you’ll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s!”

From Media Home Entertainment flyer, circa mid-1980s.

#fearflashbacks #chud #thesimpsons #newyork #mediahomeentertainment

A few weeks back, I was in Chicago and fell ass backwards into a retro toy and gaming expo taking place in the ‘burbs. It was here I snapped this picture of a CHILDREN OF THE CORN promo card.

Even sitting faded under all that scratched display glass, I was reminded how goddamned wonderful this one-sheet really was. So much so, that I decided to make it the premier entry in this new category spotlighting horror artwork. I mean, just look at this thing. The menacing scythe. That Armageddon-orange sky. The horrible colored eyes of those shadowy kids hiding in the corn stalks. I could look at this thing all day, folks. They just don’t make ’em like this anymore.

#onesheetwonders #childrenofthecorn #stephenking #chicago

When there’s no more room in hell, the rip-offs will walk the earth.

Also known as: Night of the Zombies, Virus, Cannibal Virus, Zombies A-Poppin’, Zombie 2, Zombie Inferno, Zombie Disco Inferno: Electric Boogaloo, Zombie Creeping Flesh, Undead Combo Meal with Large Fries, Zombies of the Savanna, The Artists Formerly Known as Zombies, and many, many others.

As adults, we pride ourselves on wisdom. Getting through the highs and lows of life gives us insight we can use to offer needed advice to our loved ones and make intelligent decisions. Then, there are decisions like HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD, which we just know are going to be bad for us. That cigarette. That skanky one-night stand in Vegas. Those two packages of Girl Scout cookies that are just sitting there, taunting us. But we can’t resist. 

I originally intended to see this shit carnival one night on cable in 1984 under its US-branded moniker, UNENDING NIGHT OF THE DEADLY FLESH NIBBLERS, but my mum came to her senses and sent me to bed. (Had it not been a school night, I bet I could have pulled it off.) It took me another decade to finally catch it on video, and boy howdy, was it worth the wait. 

The movie almost seems like it was made by actual zombies. Its genius-by-accident mix of inexplicable nudity, bad dialogue, and non-stop, dollar-store gore inadvertently becomes the very definition of ‘guilty pleasure’. From the ripped off Goblin soundtrack to director Bruno Mattei being billed as “Vincent Dawn”, the producers of HELLISH DAY OF THE DISGRUNTLED WHATEVERS use every trick in the book to convince us this maybe, just possibly, could be the work of George A. Romero. 

Needless to say, it’s a total failure, but once you feast your eyes on BURNING HOPPING ZOMBIES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, you have to admit that these folks packed a lot of irresistible nonsense into 100 minutes of running time. In all honesty, I’ve probably seen this film at least six times, and I still don’t know what happens in it or what the point is! (Off the record: booze and drugs will help, so be sure to have a lot nearby before you press play.)

Just like that greasy chili burger you have after four oyster shooters, watching DAWNING SCREAMING ZOMBIES ON SAFARI is not going to be one of the best choices you’ll make in this lifetime. But sometimes, you just have to do it. 

#unclean&unseen #hellofthelivingdead #nightofthezombies #vincentdawn #brunomattei #georgeromero #zombies