A few days back, I did a post on Mario Bava’s last film, SHOCK, and that got me thinking about his earlier films. Though he’d already been in the film business for over 20 years, BLACK SUNDAY marked Bava’s auspicious directorial debut. You can tell by how small his name is on the poster.
And what a poster it was! I remember when I was young and I first saw this seminal one-sheet. That woman’s eyes freaked me the fuck out (in a good way) and, if I’m remembering correctly, they may have actually been the catalyst for me to ultimately seek out Bava’s films. Personal inspiration notwithstanding, it’s a striking image that most certainly helped to launch Bava into the Euro-horror stratosphere.
A shameless concoction of erotica, camp, gore, and medieval legend.
Paul Naschy may be a household name for Spanish horror fans, but America still seems to be catching up with him. Ironically, he was best known for a role he never intended to play, Count Waldemar Daninsky, colloquially known as “El Hombre Lobo”. In the 11th hour of pre-production for the 1968 film, THE MARK OF THE WOLF MAN, he made the jump from screenwriter to actor, simply because the producers couldn’t find a suitable leading man in time for principal photography. Thirty years and more than ten sequels later, Naschy (real name: Jacinto Molina Alvarez) had easily clawed his way into the annals of Euro horror cinema.
One of the roles Naschy was proudest of, though, was that of 15th century French warlock, Alaric de Marnac, first featured in his 1973 hit, HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB. After watching this slice of early-70s fromage, you can see why Naschy held a soft spot for the character in his stone-cold heart. After being tried for witchcraft, both de Marnac and his mistress, Mabille de Lancre, are condemned to death, with it being decided on the fly that de Marnac’s head and body should be buried apart for good measure. Shoot ahead 400 years as some young and stupidly optimistic Parisians hold a swinging 70s seance that allows de Marnac to divulge the whereabouts of all his body parts. Soon, a scavenger hunt of sorts begins in order to piece the ol’ Satanist and his girlfriend back together. Anyone outside of a horror film would instinctively know this is a terrible idea, but our plucky Parisian dipshits start getting slammed with a 400-year-old warlock whammy once Alaric screws his head back on.
Before you know it, we’re in the midst of a cavalcade of male and female nudity, sickle murders, heart-rippin’, toasted zombies, and something resembling Necrophilia-Lite (“just one calorie!”). One’s only protection from all this is a talisman that looks like something I made in 11th-grade shop class. All of this is taken *Very Seriously*, with music cues straight out of “Dark Shadows” and melodramatic acting that would make Hammer Film alumni blush. Having said this, the gusto our players leverage makes for an uncommonly breezy and enjoyable 90 minutes.
Fans can be grateful that the rights to the film (as well as its lesser, belated sequel, PANIC BEATS) got scooped up by discerning folks in recent years. I have an old, washed-out edited version from at least 15 or 20 years ago, and finally watching the movie remastered and uncensored is a refreshing experience indeed.
Ultimately, there’s no use resisting temptation. HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB is undoubtedly my favorite of Naschy’s earlier films, and pretty much the entire reason it works is due to having such an interesting villain. Alaric de Marnac is imbued with a hypnotic aesthetic that combines vampirism, satanism, and templar knighthood. Confidentially, I haven’t even made my new year resolutions yet but I already know my costume for the next Halloween season. Hell, I already have the beard, the hair, the build, and at least half of the accessories, so this should be a knockout. Sure, I’ll inevitably have an unending string of uninformed looky-loos asking all day long, “Are you supposed to be, like, a medieval Dracula, or something?”, but I guarantee I’ll get more ass than anyone that night.
Finally, for all you history buffs in the crowd, Naschy based his antagonist on one of the most despicable villains of the Renaissance: Gilles de Rais, a 15th century French baron who fell into the occult before being convicted of unspeakable crimes against more than 140 children (!!!). He later revisited de Rais for inspiration on THE DEVIL’S POSSESSED (1974) and ROJO SANGRE (2004).
WHOO! It’s time to ring in the new year. Let’s do it with an original advert for the 1980 punk-rock slasher NEW YEAR’S EVIL, which haunted theaters 44 years ago this month!
There was no way Orlok was going to stave off a pair of family-friendly offerings during the holiday season, but Robert Eggers’ new spin on NOSFERATU banked a nice $40 million during its first five days of release per a number of outlets, including World of Reel. Good word of mouth from critics and audience members alike was enough to land it in third place at the box office for the final weekend of 2024. Those accolades will likely keep it afloat through January, during which it will recoup its $50 million budget before moving on to take a bite out of a number of streaming platforms.
Taking the week off to deliver presents to children around the world. Just kidding, that’s Santa’s job!
Wishing all of you readers a wonderful holiday, and we’ll reconvene here on Monday, December 30th to get ready for the best year of our lives so far–2025!
Sure, the trailers look cool and the poster artwork has been on point, but on Christmas day you can finally see for yourself how good Robert Eggers’s NOSFERATU really is.
Reviews have been predictably wonderful: Meagan Navarro at BloodyDisgusting.com nearly shit herself, proclaiming in her 5/5 review that the film was a “mesmeric macabre masterpiece”, while Jordan Hoffman over at Fangoria claims it’s “what a perfect, classic horror movie looks like”.
A film of such incompetence, it gives hope to all fledgling directors and screenwriters.
I started out really pumped to write about ELVES, and then I remembered just how deliciously god-awful it was. Nazi elves. A coked-up Santa getting stabbed in the crotch. The perverted little brother. Grizzly Adams getting pissed on. Possibly the most incompetent shoot-out in film history. Trying on lingerie at the mall. Electrocution. Cat murder. And the special effects…ah yes, how special indeed! There’s no way I can fit the wonder that is ELVES into approximately 500 words, and just the thought of trying to encapsulate it is giving me an anxiety attack.
With this said, I hope the citizens of Colorado Springs, where this hilarious abomination of a film was lensed, celebrate it every single holiday season. I’m not talking about showing it in a dive bar for five drunks to harangue it MST3K-style, I mean Mardi Gras-level shit here. A week-long party where 100-proof Christmas cocktails flow freely, people don nicotine-stained Dan Haggerty beards, and residents dress up as the titular elf (and yes, there’s only one, not multiples as the title would suggest). I’m telling you, folks, once you see this film, you become part of a Secret Society. We’re very small in number, but we’re the ones who have the best chances of surviving imminent nuclear fallout.
Okay, indulge me for a minute while I attempt to give you the “plot”, and I use that term loosely. A teenage girl, with possibly the most fucked-up home life you could have without starving, joins her friends in the woods to carry out some wannabe-pagan ritual that (whoops!) awakens a demonic elf. Stick with me here. This elf is the result of Hitler’s tinkering with a planned Fourth Reich–okay, maybe third-and-a-half?–fashioned from a hybrid of humans and elves. (I’m literally laughing as I type this.) Said teenage girl finds out that her grandfather was a Nazi who was, of course, involved in this little elf/Aryan mixmaster experiment back during WWII. With only the help of a down-on-his-luck former cop, said teenager now has to to figure out a way to defeat the elf, as well as not let it impregnate her to carry on this half-assed attempt to realize a Nazi nirvana commanded by the Master Elf Race (patent pending).
I can’t go on! People, you have no idea how tough it was to cull this plot down into one paragraph. Also, I’ve never chuckled this much writing a blog article. However, I implore you to check out the movie, because ELVES is a prime example of where the devil truly is in the details. All of the supporting characters are so unlikable (bitchy stepmothers, peeping little brothers, Valley-girl teens who live nowhere near the Valley, no-good Santas, incestuous grandfathers, incompetent hit men) you’re praying for some kind of deus ex machina to take all these fuckheads out and turn this feature film into a short subject comedy skit. To make things even richer, the demonic elf itself doesn’t really move, so director Jeffrey Mandel had to figure out, or at least attempt to figure out, ways around this. The results are nothing short of uproarious.
Gentle readers, films like this are why we have the term “guilty pleasure”. Come on, you’ve been good all year. This holiday season, give yourself the gift of ELVES. Just don’t forget to keep the receipt.
Some things are just destined for greatness. Well, not really greatness. Maybe just notoriety. Such is the case with SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2, a lame sequel to a lame slasher that’s remembered solely for the media shit storm it created 40 years ago when a film about a killer Santa Claus debuted during the 1984 holiday season.
For no reason whatsoever, we got a sequel in 1987. Consisting mostly of flashback footage from the original film, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 didn’t even recoup its meager $250,000 budget and only turned a profit once it hit home video. For all intents and purposes, such a lousy follow-up should have rightfully fallen into eternal obscurity. That’s exactly what happened…until the internet got hold of it.
The film’s notoriously bad “Garbage Day” scene is the kind of camp gold that starts as inauspicious, discarded junk cinema before being retooled into a hilarious virtual tribute. Much like how the “Oh My God!!!!!” scene from TROLL 2 (1990) became a runaway sensation at the peak of DSL in 2006, these types of internet memes became a new way for younger generations to finally enjoy the low-budget crud from the 80s and 90s they missed out on its first time around.
Years ago, those whacky folks at Screen Rant posted a neat and rather concise article about the “Garbage Day” phenomenon, tracking its origins and history while trying to explain why it went viral in the first place. Do them a solid by checking it out here. You can still watch the original scene that birthed a thousand parodies over at YouTube, as well. If, after this historical deep dive into horror cinema history still leaves you empty inside and you feel that you absolutely must watch the whole film, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 is currently showing on Tubi.
I probably shouldn’t tell you that there are three more sequels, as well as a fairly decent 2012 remake. However, you may want to wait until the interwebz come up with some quality memes from those films before you swan dive down any more chimneys.
Time to dig down deep into the memorabilia for another prism sticker. This snazzy one features the artwork from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II.
I took a friend to see this flick when it was in theaters in early 1988 and only remember one thing about it: a really funny scene involving a screwdriver. (All you folks who’ve seen it know the one I’m talking about!)
Like everyone else, I figured the next sequel would be called “28 Months Later”, but the filmmakers waited so goddamn long, it looks like we’re in 28 YEARS LATER!
We’ve finally been blessed with a trailer and, I gotta say, it’s goooood. After all this time, it’s going to be tough to make something that doesn’t look like a clone of THE WALKING DEAD universe, but I’m looking forward to this one. Director Danny Boyle has gone on to build a solid reputation since 28 DAYS LATER (all the way back in 2002), and I was a big fan of writer Alex Garland’s 2018 mind-bender, ANNIHILATION. We’ll see what the two of them can do with this latest entry when it drops into theaters June 20th. In the meantime, you can catch the trailer here.
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