Let’s face it–Romero and King are slumming it here, but there’s still a lot of fun to be had.

There are always plenty of things to be thankful for in life. A loving family, robust health, a loyal pet, and a good job all qualify. 

But let’s get stupid about this, shall we? 

Forget about the usual blessings you rattle off every Thanksgiving as your turkey and stuffing are getting cold. Let’s talk about the little joys in life that are the real reasons you get you out of bed every morning. A Starbucks frappuccino? A blowjob? Marlboro 100s? And don’t tell me you wake-and-bakers don’t know what I’m talking about.

When I was in junior high, one of my reasons for getting out of bed was the Boulevard Cinema. It was a disgusting grindhouse theater on Topanga Canyon Boulevard that showed two movies for 99 cents. 99 cents! You could scrounge up that admission price just by kicking quarters out of the cigarette machines at the nearby mall. 

There seemed to be three things these kinds of theaters weren’t known for. First and foremost was cleanliness–I’m assuming it was just one step above the porn theater just down the block. If you stood in place too long, your feet would literally stick to the floor, and the less said about the men’s room, the better. Second on this shit list was security. On some days, kids outnumbered adults during the showing of R-rated films. Third, the place wasn’t exactly concerned with variety. 

This is where CREEPSHOW 2 comes in. They must have paired this fucking movie with at least four other things during the summer of 1987. Just when you thought it was gone, up it would pop again, sometimes hilariously paired with some incongruent, PG-rated family film. For this reason, CREEPSHOW 2 still holds the distinction of being the movie I’ve seen the most times in a theater. 

Director George Romero and first-time screenwriter Stephen King struck a small but lucrative vein of gold with the original CREEPSHOW (1982), a candy-colored pastiche of old EC horror comics. It was a surprise box office success that brought five gory tales to the table while doubling-down on the giggles, to boot. 

Though its first sequel is lacking a lot of the tongue-in-cheek laughs (and, quite frankly, short changes its audience with only three stories this time around), there’s still a lot of fun to be had. Sure, the tales are flimsier in CREEPSHOW 2, but the absence of giddy laughs gives it the space to play out as more of a straight horror anthology. No better evidence of this is its middle offering, “The Raft”, in which things get sticky for four college kids squaring off against an oil slick from hell as it slithers around the surface of a remote lake. The story’s terror comes from its simplicity, and King makes the right call by remaining faithful to his own source material. Before you know it, this unknown blob is drowning and disintegrating people right and left until the story’s only survivor is left to try and make it back to shore. 

In hindsight, I can now appreciate seeing CREEPSHOW 2 about four more times than I needed to at the Boulevard Cinema all those years ago. Tacky, crappy, and just this side of dangerous, it turned out to be the perfect horror rollercoaster to experience in a grimy, pitch-dark grindhouse theater. 

Thanks for the ride, indeed.

#letsallgotothelobbytogetourselvessomemeat #creepshow2 #georgeromero #stephenking #grindhousetheaters 

Here’s a simple one-page advert for THE KINDRED, which debuted in theaters back in January 1987.

Though I’ve always been a bigger fan of their earlier film, THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1982), this offering from directors Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter is one worth seeking out for those of you who like your horror films with a side of sci-fi tentacles.

Though it disappeared for a while due to legal issues, THE KINDRED has been back on the market again thanks to Synapse Films. In recent years, they released it as an impressive three-disc steelbook, which features a rare, unrated version of the film!

#fearflashbacks #thekindred stephencarpenter jeffreyobrow #thedormthatdrippedblood #synapse films #unratedversion #steelbook #scifi

Wendy Torrance has left the building.

With heavy heart, I have to relay the passing of actress Shelley Duvall, who died Thursday at her home in Texas from complications from diabetes. She had just turned 75 years old.

Duvall made an indelible mark on horror history in the Stanley Kubrick adaptation of Stephen King’s bestseller, THE SHINING, but also enjoyed similar success in both large and small-screen projects from noted directors. Her early career was highlighted by such classics as Robert Altman’s NASHVILLE (1975) and Woody Allen’s comedy landmark ANNIE HALL (1977). Though some critics balked at her casting in THE SHINING, she was a perfect fit as Olive Oyl in Altman’s POPEYE (1980).

Duvall’s later career saw her turn to television production, supervising critically-acclaimed programming for kids such as the popular FAERIE TALE THEATRE, as well as the Emmy Award-nominated TALL TALES & LEGENDS and SHELLEY DUVALL’S BEDTIME STORIES.

Though her horror output was limited after THE SHINING, she was responsible for producing the short-lived NIGHTMARE CLASSICS, and just recently returned to acting in the 2023 thriller THE FOREST HILLS.

Rest in peace, Shelley. The Overlook will leave a light on for you.

#grimgoodbyes #shelleyduvall #theshining #stanleykubrick #stephenking #robertaltman #nashville #popeye #oliveoyl #wendytorrance #faerietaletheatre #talltales&legends #shelleyduvallsbedtimestories #nightmareclassics #theforesthills

“But it’s not really Jason, so we don’t like this one!” Yeah, whatever.

Look, I know it’s not a great film, but Demon and his enchiladas alone are worth the price of admission. See it again, preferably drunk or stoned. Maybe both.

From the Fangoria Poster Magazine #1 (1987).

#onesheetwonders #fridaythe13thpartvanewbeginning #royburns #jasonvoorhees #oohbabyoohbaby #damnenchiladas

For that special SLEEPAWAY CAMP fan in your life, or just maybe a way to celebrate Pride Month next year?

No matter how you slice it, Angela seems really excited that the lights are on, doesn’t (s)he?

By the way, if anyone knows who made this or where they’re sold, let me know and I’ll pass it on.

#fearflashbacks #sleepawaycamp #lightswitchcover #felissarose

Remembered mostly for one landmark film, Tobe Hooper still became one of the most emulated directors in the history of motion pictures.

I’m a sucker for numbers, statistics, and the like. I have a spreadsheet of over 800 horror films I’ve given one-line reviews. On a regular basis, it informs me of titles worthy of a re-watch and, just as importantly, keeps me from re-watching those odious pieces of cinematic shit I never want to see ever again.

For curiosity’s sake, this list is forever being sorted, cross-referenced, and ‘rejiggered’ (technical term!). I can see just how many horror films were out in 1981, which year had the most sequels, or the average number of titles I see each year. 

During a recent slice and dice of this spreadsheet, I looked at a list I had compiled of my top 40 favorite horror films of all time. Like the rest of the list, I’m constantly bumping worthy items up the ranking while sadly demoting things that no longer have the sparkle they once did. In the midst of a recent shuffle, I noticed only one horror director had three entries on my top 40 list. 

Willard Tobe Hooper was born and raised in Texas, attending UT Austin before venturing into the world of teaching. He later started making documentaries and threw together his first feature, EGGSHELLS, an otherworldly take on the late 60s counterculture, for less than $50,000. Though the micro-budgeted feature didn’t exactly make waves, it was tinged with a subversive commentary on political and societal mores that would bleed (and how!) into Hooper next film, THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE.

Though Hooper’s career courted controversy at almost every turn–from the did-he-or-didn’t-he-direct POLTERGEIST debate to the floundering multi-picture deal with Cannon Films that signaled the downturn of his career–nothing he made afterward ever had the impact of CHAIN SAW. 

Christ, there’s nothing I can say about the film that hasn’t already been debated for the past 50 years. The movie has become not only a horror landmark, but a cultural touchstone. For fuck’s sake, they sell stuffed Leatherface dolls in Walmart these days! If that isn’t an indication of influence, I don’t know what is. Almost every film Rob Zombie has ever made has been a tribute to Hooper’s classic, and he ain’t the only one. Stanley Kubrick went on record as a fan of the film, and directors as diverse as Wes Craven and Ridley Scott have cited its influence. 

As a teenager, I met Hooper very quickly in the late 1980s. He was being mobbed by a crowd of fans I was part of, and his demeanor emanated an air of jarring discomfort, possibly even terror. Even then at my young age, I had heard the rumors of the usually mild-mannered Hooper having a nervous breakdown a few years earlier. As I watched him sign autographs as fast as humanly possible while trying to keep his composure, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. Sure, he was a wealthy, respected, and talented filmmaker, but Tobe Hooper seemed to be a victim of expectation, and THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE set the bar incredibly high for him for the rest of his life. Nothing could compete. It was a shooting star that burned Hooper every time he tried to let go of it and move on to something different. 

In the end, though, Hooper should be remembered for more than THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. The sleazy authenticity of THE FUNHOUSE is one of the director’s unsung gems, and whether he or Spielberg had their hand on the throttle of POLTERGEIST is ultimately a moot point, as there’s no denying the cigar-chomping Hooper had significant influence on the film. His leaner later years at least produced some interesting small-screen entertainment. This included episodes of TALES FROM THE CRYPT and MASTERS OF HORROR, but, most importantly, his lone foray into music videos yielded a mini-masterpiece: Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself”. Go check it again and see if you can spot Leatherface’s sledgehammer in it!

#horrorhonorroll #tobehooper #thetexaschainsawmassacre #poltergeist #thefunhouse #eggshells #mastersofhorror #talesfromthecrypt #billyidol #dancingwithmyself #stevenspielberg #robzombie #stanleykubrick #wescraven #ridleyscott

Most people need an extra pick-me-up on Mondays. I think a guy in a pig mask and a chainsaw qualifies.

Don’t forget to enjoy some Farmer Vincent Fritters with your coffee!

#onesheetwonders #motelhell #fangoriapostermagazine #farmervincent #rorycalhoun

Though everyone here has done better work, the Crypt Keeper agrees: it’s “must-scream TV”!

We’ll start this one with a confession: A few years ago, I rewatched every single episode of TALES FROM THE CRYPT, and you know what? I realized I didn’t like it as much as I thought. 

I know you can only do so much with a story in 25 minutes, but the scripts seemed routinely  underdeveloped to the point it hamstrung most of the fun for me. Not only that, but I’m disappointed we never got a fun nickname for the Crypt Keeper. (C.K.? Cryptee? Keepie?) Warts and all, the series still barfed up a few frothy, bloody bon-bons that have since risen like clotted cream to the top of the body pit. 

First up is possibly the best thing Tobe Hooper did after POLTERGEIST (1982). I realize that sounds like I’m selling the Texas-born scaremaker short, but much like Argento and Romero, Hooper was living proof that what comes up must come back down again. Though his direction here isn’t exactly groundbreaking, he wrangles a surprisingly fine cast of principles, including James Remar, John-Rhys Davies, Vanity, and Whoopi Goldberg, fresh off her Oscar win for GHOST (1990). I mean, with that kinda lineup, how can you resist? 

Red Buckley (Remar) is just a small-time thug trying to prove his mettle. When he finds out a priceless black pearl is being hoarded by ailing plantation owner, Emil Duval (fucking hell, how many accents can Rhys-Davies do??), we know we’re in for double-crosses galore. Another thing Red’s interested in getting his hands on is Duval’s wife, blithely played by the ever-beautiful Vanity. Sorry, but it’s been over 40 years now and I’m still wondering what PURPLE RAIN would have been like had she stayed onboard. Anyway, all this sweaty intrigue is set against the noisy chaos of impending civil war, which always serves as a convenient–albeit desperate–way to inject urgency into a plot. A tinge of voodoo is thrown in when Goldberg puts herself in the middle of this fuckery as an enigmatic (or maybe just underwritten?) priestess who may or not want a cut of Red’s booty in exchange for a little spiritual protection. 

I won’t divulge much more, except that the intended highlight of the episode may as well come with a neon sign attached to it. TALES FROM THE CRYPT was never exactly subtle, so let’s just say it plays out much like a reality-TV adaption of the board game “Operation”. The whole thing unwinds in the gaudy, gory fashion HBO’s original programming became famous for in later years. (I’m looking at you, GAME OF THRONES!) 

Check your head at the door and you’ll find this thing flies by in roughly the same time it always took TALES FROM THE CRYPT to get through its opening credits. It’s quite possible the real reason I missed a lot of these episodes during their initial run is because I fell asleep before Keepie could pop his bony ass out of that frickin’ coffin and get this show on the road.

But hell, I’m willing to bet there’s nothing on cable tonight that’s as messy and trashy as “Dead Wait”, and even if there is, does it include an Oscar winner, that detective from DRUGSTORE COWBOY, the chick that used to bang Prince, and that beardy Welsh bloke who played both Sallah and Gimli the Dwarf?… I didn’t think so! 

#smallscreenscreams #talesfromthecrypt #deadwait #tobehooper #jamesremar #whoopigoldberg #johnrhysdavies #vanity #prince #purplerain #drugstorecowboy #gimli #lordoftherings #sallah #raidersofthelostark #poltergeist #ghost #voodoo #hbo #gameofthrones

Just a little PUMPKINHEAD action for ya today. This goes back to its first video release in the spring of 1989. Ah, dig those crazy VHS prices–$89.95, damn!

You know, when you think about it, Stan Winston’s directorial debut is basically just a spin on “Pet Sematary”, only with a nine-foot demon thrown in for good measure. And I still like the way that witchy lady says “Ehhd Hahhrrrley“.

#fearflashbacks #pumpkinhead #videoreleases #lancehenriksen #petsematary #stanwinston

We haven’t had much yet here on UBHB highlighting horror’s latest kooky clown, so it’s time to remedy that!

The people at JoBlo are always down with the horror cause, and I recently came across a great article of theirs detailing all the stuff you need to know so far about Art the Clown’s upcoming Christmas festivities. We’re talkin’ lots of info about the main characters of the film, as well as director Damien Leone’s efforts to get the latest sequel’s running time under two hours (thank fuck for that!). Leone also mentions wanting to recapture the creepiness Art had in the original film.

Check out all the details, as well as the festive teaser trailer here!

#horrorhappenings #terrifier3 #arttheclown #damienleone #teasertrailer